Dear future, stop cheating with your past. It is over.
There will be a moment in life where you look back and see how you have changed. If you really have lived, there will probably be many of these moments. These moments are precious, like little drops of honey showing you the transformation that you have gone through.
Did I really do this? Why did I have to go through this? What was I thinking? Didn’t I see the signs? Was I really that stupid?
The past can serve many purposes, good and bad. It is a huge source of pain, when we dwell in our past and only focus on what went wrong or what we could have done better. It is a beautiful distraction, when we choose to not focus on the present moment but linger in the time and opportunities that passed away.
The past is a great teacher, when we consciously look at the lessons we learned, instead of the mistakes that we made. There is really no reason to beat yourself, or anyone else, up for the past when we live in the present. Just take in your past with grace, and continue with your life. There is no point in giving up on your life and stay in the past, for life will continue anyways.
Life is changing every second. People change, those who hurt you in the past might save you later. Those who have saved you once, might hurt you. There is nothing certain in life, there isn’t any guarantee that anything which brought you success in the past will work in the present. Therefor, staying conscious in this moment is valuable, way more than we tend to believe.
The past may make us wiser, stronger, more fluid, more accumulated to what is yet to come. When we encounter something which is difficult, and we survive, we are learning that we can handle the storm. If we choose wisely, we might even grow. If we keep failing and keep growing, there will be very little limitations that are holding us back.
Life is a choice. A complex choice, with many possibilities and possible outcomes. And you will probably make many right choices – and many wrong decisions. It does not make you a bad person, a fuck up or anything else. It makes you a human, which is going through this human experience.
I have seen my past from many different angles. I have despised it, hated it. Misunderstood it. It took me time to appreciate my past, simply because I needed to go through many different phases, many processes, many lessons. I deeply appreciate my past in this present moment, for it has brought me so much. I see how it has changed me, yet it does not need to define who I am. I see who I used tot be, how I am and how I can be.
Make peace with your past. Learn to look back and take out the drops of honey that transformed the poison into liquid gold. There is a time and place for everything. Painful emotions serve a purpose and should be given space in order to be felt. When the emotions have been heard, it is really time to move on. Onwards is the way to go. You might trip and fall and tumble down backwards. As long as you get up and get going again, there really is nothing to worry about. Just remember to breathe.