Love is a work of art – it takes practice, practice and more practice. To be in love with a partner takes a lot of time, courage and work. Yet love goes even further. The love we feel for our friends, our parents, our children, ourselves – it all takes an effort, if you want it to be love, true love, instead of conditional love. In order to cultivate love, we need to do our work. If we can not love ourselves, how can we truly love others?
How often have you loved someone, because they loved you? How often did you want them to love you, because you loved them? Is the love that you receive and give unconditional, or does it come from a place of neediness, attachments, or false expectations? How does it feel to you to love, be loved and understood? Is the love you give pure? Is it true?
I love you. Please be with me. Don’t leave me. I will be good for you. I will change for you. I will make compromises for you. I will lie to myself, just for you. Don’t leave me. Please be with me. I love you.
Heartbreak. For many of us a huge fear, a fierce teacher, a lesson for life. What happens exactly when we fall in love and do our best to make it work, but in the end we need to step back and let one another go? There are many things one can do to fix a broken heart – yet is that really what you need? What purpose could a broken heart serve you? And what process would you interfere with when you try to fix that which still needs time?
I could see how I had been compromising myself. I could see how I had abandoned myself. I could see how I had given away my power. I could see how I was not being met in the same way I was showing up. And slowly, slowly, going through the soul sorrow of heartbreak, step by step, tear by tear, I regained myself. I regained my power, my strength, my courage and my worth. I started to realize how small I had felt, how much I had given up. And slowly, slowly, I realized how amazing it felt to finally be me again.
Time heals all wounds, yet the process in itself is going to be of great importance regarding the scar tissue that will be developed, or not. When one goes into grief, sadness, despair, anger, heartbreak one can choose the quick fix. A distraction, a new lover, diving into work or any other escape route. Or one can do it the hard way, and face it. Face all of the turmoil that comes up, face all the emotions, face the darkness. Face your pain, anger, fears. It is in the darkest hours of our lives that true growth may occur, when plowing through unresolved issues, fears and pain.
Heartbreak. It can be seen as a purification of the heart. When facing this breaking of the heart, the old will make place for the new. It opens up the gateway to something else – love of the self. When it seems like there is no one there, like you are the only one in the world, when you have no one else to lean on – you can choose. Choose to be miserable, choose to believe that you are not worthy of love and that no one else will ever love you again – or choose to love yourself. As cliché as it may sound, there is a profound truth in this teaching. Trust the proces. Trust yourself.
Look at yourself. Rip your heart out of your chest and hold it in your hands. Look at it, embrace it, accept it. Accept your heart, with all it tears and broken pieces – and love your heart with all your being, until you realize that this is all you need. Feel yourself and allow your tears to flow, my dear, and let the tears fall down and melt your heart.
I am Linde de Bock. I give bodywork sessions around the world, and I write. What I write is my truth, coming from my own experience, different teachings and life. If it resonates with you, good. If it doesn’t, good. Think for yourself what is true. If you wish to find out more about what I do, I invite you to take a look at my web page or to contact me with any inquiry.