You should not be here.
This is not the place for you.
You are moving in the wrong direction.
These people do not serve you anymore.
You should move towards there.
This is a good place.
This is your path.
How do you know how to live your life? How do you know where to go, what to do, who to surround yourself with? Is it a feeling? A thought? A longing? Is it intuition? Where is this coming from?
Bodytrust. When your body tells you what to do – or what not to do. Do you know that feeling when you enter a room, and it is just off? That straight feeling, that as soon as you walk through that doorstep, your feet are already turning the other way, ready to leave? What do you do? Are you staying? Or leaving? Who is in control? Your mind? Your body? Who knows best?
I trust my body. My body knows.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Where do all these thoughts come from? I don’t know. You do not need to react to your thoughts. Just observe and let them flow. Where does a thought begin? Where does it end? What does it mean? A thought is simply a unit. By seeing it like that, it is easier to shift your attention from thoughts to silence in the mental void. Why? For in the silence, you can feel. In the silence, you come closer to who you are.
I have often ignored the subtle signs of my body, my intuition, my path. I have many times rejected myself, because I have not listened to my body. I have been in situations, where I felt unsafe, disrespected or simply wrong. And I stayed. Because I thought I was supposed to, or because I thought I was being silly for feeling different. In hindsight, I should have fled.
Why is it so important to trust your body? Your body is being less influenced than your thoughts. Think about it, are your thoughts your own, or do they come from friends and family, Facebook, films? What is closer to your truth? The thought that you want to make love to him, or your body that is not reacting in an open way? How often do you force your body into something, when it is not ready, when it is not willing? When is it a good thing? When does it go too far?
They say that everything happens for a reason, even when it is painful, seemingly useless or simply terrifying. They say that confusion is the greatest gift one can have, for it means that things are evolving. I hate it, but I love it. You can learn from everything, the good and the bad, your mind and your body. Which is more present? Is your body wiser than your thoughts? Are your thoughts more realistic than your body? Are your thoughts too loud, or can you find silence in your being?
It is in silence, that I come closer to the core of my true self. The first time I met myself in silence was during my first silent retreat in Hridaya. I thought it would be heartbreaking to listen to all my feelings in silence. I was wrong. It is calm. In stillness, all my barriers dissolve. In silence, I can’t hide. I thought that I was hiding from my pain. I was wrong. My pain has been very present. It is love that I have been hiding from. I do not want to hide anymore. I see the beauty, the authenticity, the strength. This is who I am.
Trusting my body means that sometimes I will need to make decisions which may seem odd to the mind, and often I find myself in doubt. Do I know what I am doing? Am I really supposed to go that direction, in life? What if my body says no, but my heart says yes? Are they not interconnected? Is my mind interrupting? Are my thoughts manipulated? Can I trust my body?
Everything in life can be manipulated, body and mind. Your memories do not have to be the truth, even if you know and feel that something happened. The mind can distort memories and the body can go through events that never really occurred. In the end, what is in the past, is in the past. All that matters is here and now. What is alive? What is present? What is your truth? What is your path?
Who do you trust?
I am Linde de Bock. I give bodywork sessions around the world, and I write. What I write is my truth, coming from my own experience, different teachings and life. If it resonates with you, good. If it doesn’t, good. Think for yourself what is true. If you wish to find out more about what I do, I invite you to take a look at my web page or to contact me with any inquiry.
Photocredits: Klaus Kempert