Control. Power. SURRENDER (part three)

What is it that you are looking for? What is it that you are trying to achieve? With extending your inner gaze outwards, what is it that you do not dare to face? Which shadows are waiting in your inner being – waiting to be seen, waiting to be witnessed?

I would love to surrender more to life. Why? Because when you are in a state of surrender, you let go of control. You are not trying to change anything, that probably does not lie within your power anyways. And it makes life simple. It comes as it comes, and it goes as it goes. Being in a state of surrender is often misunderstood as something negative, as if you are dominated or abandoning yourself. Yet this is far from true, when understanding the real essence of surrender.

The capacity to surrender is the highest gift that a human being has. Being in a state of surrender is a conscious availability, it is a choice. Real love involves surrender, a forgetfulness of yourself, where you offer yourself in love without wanting something in return. Compassion needs surrender, where you forget about yourself in understanding someone else.

To find love and compassion for another human being is as important as finding love and compassion for yourself. For me, the art of surrendering into myself – and into receiving – is a lot harder to master than going into a compassionate and loving state for others. Yet, sometimes it happens spontaneously. To surrender is to melt into something or someone completely. It feels as if I am so safe, so held, so nurtured – that I can relax and disappear for a moment, like a little ego-death. In this moment, I feel at peace, there is stillness, there is nothing. And I love those moments, yet I have no clue how to get there.

Did you know that (almost) all women have the capacity to squirt? And to get there, she ‘only’ has to surrender? Even though I had heard a lot about this, I was not sure that I could believe it. And then it happened anyways. This event was completely unexpected, somewhat shocking, for I did not expect it to happen – I was not trying to do anything. I did not even know how to do it, and I still don’t, to be honest. I believe this is more a non-doing than a doing anyway. There really is no forcing her into it, she needs to surrender to her lover, her sensations, to herself.

When you surrender to your lover, you are not surrendering to him or her, but to the divine love within them – which is the same as the divine love within you. When going into surrendering, it does not mean that you are giving away anything of yourself to anyone else. The divine in us, our true essence, will never surrender. The ego could, and should, be surrendered. Don’t surrender to a person, a guru, or because others do or tell you to. Surrender to your higher self, the divine within you.

Everything inside of you will always be there, also when you choose to ignore. It takes courage, but when you find it – shed light on your inner wounds. Your external attention might distract you for some time, maybe even a lifetime. But you cannot hide forever. It will show itself to you. It is up to you to choose the right moment, or to surrender to the moment when the moment comes.


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